The Killers - "All These Things That I've Done"

2004 was an interesting year. I was coming out of my "I'm not going to listen to it because you listen to it" phase and I was really beginning to fall in love with pop music. Despite this, when I first heard the Killers, I wanted to hate them and I did. I was being beat over the head with "Somebody Told Me," which is a pretty terrible song. I couldn't understand why people kept buying their album and completely raving over it. One day, I was in the car with a friend and she subjected me to listening to the album, from beginning to end. The first song, "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" is adequate, but it projected the Killers that I didn't want to like, then it happened. The hook on "Mr. Brightside" was just too ridiculously glamorous and sparkly to pass up. I had to have it. The next few months were spent buried in the fruitiest sounding hooks I've ever fell in love with.

"All These Things That I've Done" was probably like the third or fourth single off the album. I was so impressed with the song, I was actually happy to hear that it was getting played so much on the radio, be it top 40, adult alternative or the real "alternative" station. Not only is it a five minute song, but it has a pretty long bridge with a tasteful gospel part, which is easily overdone in modern "rock and roll" (see: Fall Out Boy - "Hum Hallelujah; it's not only offensive to the idea of gospel, but also to Leonard Cohen fans as well). The fact that the guitar parts are the hooks rather than the vocal parts in most of the Killers' big songs has bothered me intermittently over the years, but I've come to accept that Brandon Flowers couldn't sing his way out of monotone if his life depended on it. I love the way the organ intro transitions into that stupid cheap sounding synth and how that provides sonic weight throughout the rest of the song, even though it's barely noticeable (it's called the pad... kthx sound engineering).

When I found out that the Killers were releasing a b-sides comp, I was plain confused. They're one of, if not the biggest American band in the world right now and they only have two studio albums out on the market, both with about 12 songs. How could you have enough b-sides to fill an album, even if you augment it with live cuts, demos, etc? How do you expect people to pay $15 for like 3 songs they haven't heard and 9 versions of songs they already paid for? The story gets better because I only found out this morning that there are like 19 tracks on this b-sides comp. Some of the songs were recorded strictly for this album, which sort of makes sense, considering they actually want to market this and get a single or two off of it, but seriously, why?

The Killers' second album, Sam's Town, wasn't all that good. There were some good moments, especially "When You Were Young," which is the best gay Springsteen impression I've ever heard, but it wasn't the first album. The hooks just weren't there. I listened to one of the first songs from the b-sides comp this morning, a song which features Lou Reed. I can sort of understand that; it's a mutually beneficial relationship. The Killers get some legit credit for bringing in Lou Reed and Lou Reed doesn't have to narrarate tai chi videos to make a little extra cash. I understood it until I heard the song. It's terrible. Absolutely unlistenable and devoid of anything remotely catchy. The Flowers monotone is in full force and is killing innocent citizens everywhere.

So here's my plea to the Killers: please go back into the studio and buy yourself some help from the Matrix or some songwriting team who are going to develop your decent ideas into good songs.