Damn you, Justin Conway

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I see things in little orange and purple pegs now:

The Mountain Goats - "This Year" and This Year

Sometimes, I disappoint myself. I get so wrapped up in looking for something new to listen to, when the perfect song has been sitting in front of me for so long. This last week, I've had too many revelations, too many realizations of just how true this fact is. I didn't know just how much I was missing out on with The Wedding Present and Bruce Springsteen and Mission of Burma, but most frustrating of all, I've missed out on a certain Mountain Goats song for a long time.

This isn't entirely true; I've heard it plenty, but just never realized how relevant it was to so many things in my life. The video for the song "This Year" is attached above, however, this version is particularly unsatisfying, as far as I'm concerned. The reason I overlooked it for so long was because of how cheesy it sounded. Something about the harmony parts just screamed "I would walk 500 miles" and I couldn't take that from such an amazing musician. It seemed too easy.

The real reason I didn't notice the song before was because of the intensely recorded version of the song that appears in the video, as well as on the album, The Sunset Tree. I don't like to blame the producer in this situation, because I think that on some level, John Vanderslice did an amazing job, considering the fact that this was one of Darnielle's first "properly recorded" studio albums, however I think that in this particular case, Vanderslice's production didn't lend itself to the song.

Come, Come to the Sunset Tree is a very limited edition, vinyl-only demo collection that accompanies The Sunset Tree. There are 11 songs, recorded in that glorious, distorted Darnielle low fidelity way, eight of which ended up on The Sunset Tree. One of these demos is a stripped down version of "This Year" that basically makes me cry and scream on the inside, all at the same time.

The song itself is a tale from Darnielle's adolescence as a meth user from a broken, abusive home. It is the story of how Darnielle decided that he was going to live past the circumstances that brought him down. This song isn't some Jason Anderson-Andrew WK "life is awesome so live it" songs; it's a pretty fucked up story, highlighting that life isn't always "awesome," but that we can get through anything if we really want to.

Why didn't I get this before, you ask? Well, it's because of the Come, Come to the Sunset Tree version and how vastly different it is than the album version. I will admit, most of the demos on this collection are just stripped down versions of their Vandersliced counterparts, however the character of this version is completely different than the one that ended up on the album. I say this because there is one moment that isn't present on the album version, a moment so powerful, everyone should know this feeling. The chorus is a simple enough refrain of "I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me." This is great enough, along with Darnielle's narrative of being a teenager, but when the bridge gets going, you can feel something building in the demo version. The last line of the bridge is, "There will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year." The sentiment that we can weather any storm to get through to a time of celebration is something that we all need in our lives. The demo version really highlights the feeling and the intent to see everything through until everything is alright.

I am not the only one who feels like I can't catch a break in 2008. Several other people I have talked to have been going through difficulty after difficulty; circumstances that are beyond our control. We have this innate sense that we are helpless when things happen to us, but I think we all have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. We all have the ability in us to get through anything and if it seems like too much, we all have to rely on one another. I am thankful that I can count on all of you to be there for me and I hope you feel the same way.

In short, listen to the song and even the whole album. I've attached both. Secondly, let's get back on track. We can still smash 2008 in the face.

The Mountain Goats - The Sunset Tree
The Mountain Goats - "This Year (Come, Come to the Sunset Tree Version)"

Metal Beginnings, Dethklok and a Day of Returning to Roots

Dear Diary,

I miss blogging. It's been a few weeks and I have no excuse, really. I'd like to think that I've been busy, but I really couldn't say that. It seems like I've been busy, however, we all know that being busy is just a figment of our imagination. It's like we're trying to convince ourselves that we're more important than we really are.

Anyways, I've been in this strange place of not really listening to much music. It's been about a week and a half right now. I usually am pretty stoked on something I just downloaded, but I really don't have anything like that right now. This feeling sort of sucks; music is one of the most important things in my life.

This morning, as I walked to class, I got the genius idea to listen to The Dillinger Escape Plan on the way. Now, since all of you know me, you know that I used to be way into ridiculously technical metal. There was nothing more comforting to me than a sweep picked math riff. This has always proved to be a problem with all of my friends, who don't really understand my love for all things hardcore.

It is a bit ironic, I suppose, however, there was a time in my life where I thought drop C# breakdowns were the coolest thing in the world. Throw in a few dissonant note combinations and you have yourself 50% of a song. All you'd need besides that was the mandatory two-step/circle pit part, multiply by 10 or 12 and you have an album.

The disconnect between my friends and I came when I was watching Metalocalypse with Jeff, John and the Jennifers. It was the Bluesklok episode where Dethklok is tasked with learning how to play the most depressing music ever, the blues. There is one particular scene where the two obviously Scandinavian guitarists are trying to learn to play blues riffs from an old blues man. The guitarists are only able to play ridiculous, Dragonforce-type riffs, full of pentatonic goodness.

Of course, I thought this was hilarious and no one else did. It was funny, not only because I really love metal, but also because the riffs were referencing The Dillinger Escape Plan (I'm pretty sure). After getting completely stoked on "Sugar Coated Sour" walking through campus, I realized that The Dillinger Escape Plan is absolutely genius. The way the two guitars interlock with the drums is ridiculous. It's some kind of Ruins drumming acrobatics, paired with some of the most ridiculous guitar parts I've ever heard.

We all have to go back to our roots sometimes.

The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity
The Dillinger Escape Plan feat. Mike Patton - Irony is a Dead Scene

St. Patrick's Day Massacre, "Gang Vocals" and the Spirit of Community

As I'm listening to Shane and the boys sing, "Let me go boys, let me go boys, let me go down in the mud where the rivers all run dry," I'm reminded of the real spirit of community in communities like the Irish punk community. Bands like Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys really embody the living legacy of bands like the Pogues and the Dubliners.

It seems to me that the "gang vocal" parts are typical of communities like this; strong, proud groups that are tightly knit by geography as much as experience. The middle class community of New Brunswick has the same feel; bands like Lifetime and the Bouncing Souls have created a legion of younger bands that latch onto the same ideals.

The question I'm left with today is, "Where do I belong?" I've always searched for a community like this, but I've never quite found one that fit my needs. The South Bay hardcore kids were always a bit too mean to be so bound by brotherhood and God knows I wasn't about to find a community like that at school. The answer, as it usually does, lies in synthsis. This is something we have to make for ourselves, without relying on others. There are a lucky few times where you get swept up in the madness of a Revolution Summer or some such movement that is so much larger than you could have ever imagined, but more often, you really have to do it yourself.

The intention of my non-profit was to synthesize this sort of community, based around passion for youth in the arts, with a shadow mission to unite Los Angeles before the subway to the sea did it for me, however, this is still a few years off. I don't know what to do until then. Basically, what I'm asking all of you is who wants to start an Irish punk band with me?

"Rudie Can't Fail"

Spring break: day 2.
Today, I watched the Joe Strummer documentary, The Future is Unwritten. Of course, there were ridiculous moments of Bono talking about how the Clash should still be making music today and very tender, but unnecessary moments of Steve Buscemi talking about being intimidated by Strummer while making Midnight Train, but just like with every other serious music documentary I've watched in the past few years, I've managed to take something away. The last few minutes of the documentary are audio of Joe Strummer's World Service radio show set to scenery of Strummer's friends and family sitting around campfires all over the world; he talks about how we all have the ability to do anything we want, as long as we want it bad enough.

After a long conversation with John Brzezicki of Lazer, Inc., I've received an assignment. I'm beginning to realize what I want to do with my life and John has tasked me with putting it down on paper. I've decided that I'm going to put all of my half-skills to use all at once: I want to write a book. This is something I've always wanted to do, however, I've never had enough content or drive to finish one.

I've decided that while I'm in grad school, I will be working on a thesis that I will eventually shop around to publishers, detailing the new school of fundraising, putting to work my knowledge of web2.0, the non-profit world and lifestyle marketing.

I've decided to take John's assignment just a step further and start listing the things I don't know now, but should learn about in order to write this, starting here:

-more about the changing economy of America
-basic sociology/urban studies/demography
-the current fundraising models
-how to be a better writer.

A while back, I saw a book called Punk Rock Marketing (or something of the sort). On the cover was a huge black 'A' in a circle, surrounded by magenta. I decided to look past that, just to see if there was any substance inside. Basically, what was contained therein was trash. I don't remember much of it, but basically, it was all about employing a "punk ethos" into marketing, which basically boiled down to "You can do it yourself! But don't forget, you're still working for the man!" Basically, I felt a little ridiculous reading it. I want to write a book with the same idea, but without the ridiculous notion of being "punk rock" or anything for that matter. I want to write a book for people trying to make it while helping other people.

This isn't something I can accomplish by myself. I know I'm going to ask each and every one of you for your help at some point, so thanks in advance for your friendship and support.

The video? Yeah, it's not "Rudie Can't Fail" or even a Clash video for that matter, but it's just as good. Yes, it's the Pogues, but who are all the rest of those people and why are they singing a song I've heard before? Yes, that's Lynval Golding onstage with the Pogues, singing "A Message to You, Rudy." If you look very closely, you can see Kirsty MacColl, David Byrne and Joe Strummer all singing with Lynval, Shane MacGowan and the Pogues. "You better think of your future" is the line that ties this all together.