The Mountain Goats - "This Year" and This Year

Sometimes, I disappoint myself. I get so wrapped up in looking for something new to listen to, when the perfect song has been sitting in front of me for so long. This last week, I've had too many revelations, too many realizations of just how true this fact is. I didn't know just how much I was missing out on with The Wedding Present and Bruce Springsteen and Mission of Burma, but most frustrating of all, I've missed out on a certain Mountain Goats song for a long time.

This isn't entirely true; I've heard it plenty, but just never realized how relevant it was to so many things in my life. The video for the song "This Year" is attached above, however, this version is particularly unsatisfying, as far as I'm concerned. The reason I overlooked it for so long was because of how cheesy it sounded. Something about the harmony parts just screamed "I would walk 500 miles" and I couldn't take that from such an amazing musician. It seemed too easy.

The real reason I didn't notice the song before was because of the intensely recorded version of the song that appears in the video, as well as on the album, The Sunset Tree. I don't like to blame the producer in this situation, because I think that on some level, John Vanderslice did an amazing job, considering the fact that this was one of Darnielle's first "properly recorded" studio albums, however I think that in this particular case, Vanderslice's production didn't lend itself to the song.

Come, Come to the Sunset Tree is a very limited edition, vinyl-only demo collection that accompanies The Sunset Tree. There are 11 songs, recorded in that glorious, distorted Darnielle low fidelity way, eight of which ended up on The Sunset Tree. One of these demos is a stripped down version of "This Year" that basically makes me cry and scream on the inside, all at the same time.

The song itself is a tale from Darnielle's adolescence as a meth user from a broken, abusive home. It is the story of how Darnielle decided that he was going to live past the circumstances that brought him down. This song isn't some Jason Anderson-Andrew WK "life is awesome so live it" songs; it's a pretty fucked up story, highlighting that life isn't always "awesome," but that we can get through anything if we really want to.

Why didn't I get this before, you ask? Well, it's because of the Come, Come to the Sunset Tree version and how vastly different it is than the album version. I will admit, most of the demos on this collection are just stripped down versions of their Vandersliced counterparts, however the character of this version is completely different than the one that ended up on the album. I say this because there is one moment that isn't present on the album version, a moment so powerful, everyone should know this feeling. The chorus is a simple enough refrain of "I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me." This is great enough, along with Darnielle's narrative of being a teenager, but when the bridge gets going, you can feel something building in the demo version. The last line of the bridge is, "There will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year." The sentiment that we can weather any storm to get through to a time of celebration is something that we all need in our lives. The demo version really highlights the feeling and the intent to see everything through until everything is alright.

I am not the only one who feels like I can't catch a break in 2008. Several other people I have talked to have been going through difficulty after difficulty; circumstances that are beyond our control. We have this innate sense that we are helpless when things happen to us, but I think we all have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. We all have the ability in us to get through anything and if it seems like too much, we all have to rely on one another. I am thankful that I can count on all of you to be there for me and I hope you feel the same way.

In short, listen to the song and even the whole album. I've attached both. Secondly, let's get back on track. We can still smash 2008 in the face.

The Mountain Goats - The Sunset Tree
The Mountain Goats - "This Year (Come, Come to the Sunset Tree Version)"